Mini Rant: Is anyone else dealing with judgmental relatives or friends during your pregnancy?

I just ignore any negative or unsolicited comments most of the time, but if I said they didn't get under my skin I'd be lying. I just don't want them to think they've gotten the best of me, so I try to avoid giving a reaction and I'm usually successful at doing so.





My mom is happy about the pregnancy but one of the first things she said when I mentioned a name I liked was, ';You're worrying about names? What about religion?'; My husband and I have different beliefs. I attend a non-denominational church and he was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. My mom rarely goes to church, but always wants to stick her nose in any chance she gets.





Three of my aunts - two live here and one lives in another state. They also claim to be extremely religious. Two of these three aunts are gossip queens. If they can't get all the details to your business, they will make up their own scenario and run with that. My cousin's girlfriend is pregnant and they live in another state. She is a couple of months ahead of me, yet I am always been questioned and compared. ';Are you showing yet?'; ';Do you know what you're having yet?';





My cousin is 40 and has been unemployed all his life. He is not really involved with his girlfriend's pregnancy. Yet they want to poke fun at my husband who refuses to miss any of my prenatal appointments. They make sarcastic comments that give me the impression that they think he's too involved. That they don't understand why he's running to every appointment. He's a country boy with good values. I feel they think because he's quiet and laid back he doesn't know anything and that he's slow. That's another story though.





Also, they asked what hospital am delivering at. I plan to deliver at the only hospital my doctor is authorized to deliver at. It's about 15 minutes away. It's a smaller hospital that has recently been remodeled. I just found out they have completely remodeled the Labor %26amp; Delivery unit. I had surgery there 5 years ago and have been there for other emergencies. I have always been satisified with their service. My aunt said, ';Why are you delivering at that old hospital?'; I doubt she's ever stepped foot in there, but she's going by how it used to 20-30 years ago.





One of my aunts said God told her I was having a boy when I was about 8 weeks along. This has really annoyed me. She's went on to tell my other two aunts who are extremely religious, and because she prophesized it, it's true ... in their eyes. Then she went on to tell my mom and others that I got mad because she told me I was having a boy (although I want a girl). I got upset because she always says God told her something regarding others. I totally believe in the power of God, but I don't like people using him as an excuse to glorify themselves.





Everytime my aunts see me, they are checking me out to see if I look as pregnant and I should look. How many times do I have to tell them how far along I am? They have all had kids and should know when you can find out the gender.





My co-worker, who is very negative, is always making sarcastic comments because I am doing exactly as my doctor instructed (no cold lunchmeats, no relaxers, etc.). She found out I purchased the crib a couple of weeks ago (she was being nosy and saw it laying in the back of my SUV). She called me at my desk and asked if I'd purchased one. I told her yes. Then she went on to ask how far along I was, and responded in shock, in other words, you're not far enough along to be purchasing that yet.





I am 17 weeks + 5 days.Mini Rant: Is anyone else dealing with judgmental relatives or friends during your pregnancy?
wooow. I dont have quite that problem, my family and friends are understanding I am lucky... My husband and I have different religions too, its caused a few issues but we finally decided she'd be baptised and in my case- a pagan blessing as well. But its no one elses business but yours and husbands.





My best friend has a 2 month old son so I do feel like at times Im being compared to her.





My other friend got on my case before I got married and move to another state, oh my she had no right telling me I was jumping into things this and that when I knew what was best for my unborn child and only me!





but other than that, everyone respects my husband and I ...they dont intrude too much other than buying a bunch of clothes and all. Religion is hard and will be hard- my MIL is okay with it, my grandma supports it... but most of my husbands family are strict church go-ers. My FIL asks me to go with them and I always decline....





I just want to enjoy my daughter when she gets here, everything else is trivial right now.





Oh and Edit- My husband is a country boy too and very old fashioned- Yes sir, No thank you- all that. Hes been at every appt since day 1. Theres so many men out there that dont even care! I say we're damn lucky to have the husbands that we have and everyone else must be jealous.Mini Rant: Is anyone else dealing with judgmental relatives or friends during your pregnancy?
I completely sympathize on the religion aspect of your problem. My mother is devoutly Christian, whereas my husband and I are decidedly athiest. When I concieved my first child all she talked about what how much my views would change after I had a baby because there was no way a miracle of that magnitude could not be of God, and I would 'return to the fold'. I also had a bit of a row with her over wanting to take our daughter to church with her. I finally compromised with her and agreed to let her take our daughter UNTIL she was old enough to be influenced by what was being taught. My husband and I are firm believers in letting our children choose their own religious/spiritual paths when they are old enough to investigate. I'm still an athiest, and pregnant with our second baby and my mother cannot stand it. She respects me enough to let me raise my child how I feel I must, but I still get little comments from her now and then. We've agreed to disagree on most aspects of life. Now as for your family, I suggest you let them all know they need to take a big step backwards or you're going to start busting some heads. This is your child, your life, these are your decisions and you do not need the added aggravation of everyone being rude and plain crazy. I know its hard, but if they truly love you they need to respect you.
OO Dear, How it takes me back. Been there done that!





I come from a Gossip family too, I think we all do.


Here is what happened to be.





I got married August 2008 when I was 21 and my husband was 23. (This was after 3 years of dating mind you). A big problem in my family family was the religion/ culture thing. My husband is an only child and was born in and raised in Russia by his Single mother who was Agnostic/ Sometimes Spirtual.





I was raised here in the USA by a Non-Denoinational christan family..My Dads whole family was Roman Cathloic but my mom refused to raise her babies Cathloic...My parents had a hard time getting past the religious thing. My husband is a Christian but was not raised in the church like I was.





Anyways...6 months after being married, I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I were thrilled to high ends..My parents were upset!!


Here I was 22 and only married 6 months and when my parents found out that we were pregnant then went on and on how about ';Irrsponsible'; we were when it came to Bc and how we should not let our emotions get in the way.





I am now 8 months pregnant and had to listen to soo much crap over the last 8 months...Believe me the closer you get to the Due date, the worse It gets...My Grandmother insisted that I was having a boy (That she just knew because she had 2 boys) and that because I was gaining weight in the butt I was also having a boy...I had my ultrasound and it said ';GIRL'; and she didn't even bat and eye she said ';O that's nothing, it's just a guess'; (However the vagina was clear as day) She still insist on Mother Mary that I am having a boy.





Everyone from my Aunt,next door neighbor to mother..All have something to say about Natural delivery and being a ';Real women'; to breast feeding, to You name..They all have something to say!





O..ONE PIECE OF ADVICE!!!! DON';T DON';T DON';T Share the name with them!!! You will pay for it dearly!!!


My Husband and I made the Mistake of telling everyone that we were naming our daughter Sophia and for the last 4 months we had to listen to ';A Sophie means Fat Polluck Women in Italian'; '; Sophia sounds like a hooker name'; etc etc etc. The less they know and the less you tell them..The BETTER!





One more thing, Screen your calls, Lock your doors and learn to say ';SHOVE IT! and mind your Own **%26amp;*%26amp;*%26amp;*%26amp; Buiness!
At what point are you going to learn that you have to stop sharing ANY personal information with these people? They don't love you. They just want to dish dirt. Your mother, on the other hand, is an interested party as grandmas are often involved in the daily lives of their adult children. Just answer her questions as best you can and when she gets on your nerves, just tell her that you have answered that question and do not want to hear about it again.





I agree with your coworker, however. Buying a crib at 17 weeks is overkill. They are only returnable for maybe a 90 day period, so you'd better set it up now and make sure it is complete.
I call that a mega-rant. LOL But seriously hun, you need to just forget about them...all of them, even your family members who are being negative. You're also hormonal right now so I think you're taking things a *little* too seriously, but some of those comments would probably irk me. But you've got more important things to occupy your thoughts now, right? And I'm sorry to say, the random comments from people you barely know or even strangers only get worse the further along you get...almost everyone has something to say to an expecting mother, that's just the way it is. Just rise above.